Post by mary on Aug 19, 2016 13:17:53 GMT
Hi. I wonder if anyone has an experience similar to mine. My sister passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last year. I was far away, taking care of our mom, whom everyone thought would be "the first to go" in our immediate family. My sister - a beautiful person, inside and out - was the baby of our family, and I am the eldest sibling, who always assumed (being the eldest) that all 3 of my siblings would of course outlive me. My sister and I loved one another, enjoyed our chats when we connected now and then by phone, but had lost the closeness we shared in our younger days. Her death was - and still is, in so many ways - unimaginable and feels impossible to "accept".
I am sad beyond telling that she has been deprived of the rest of her life, a life she lived well and much loved.
I am sad for her husband and young son, who struggle every day to cope with life so changed by her absence.
I am sad for her father, whose loss I can't even begin to imagine, and for my two brothers, in their loss of the "little sister" they both so loved and admired.
I am sad for our mom, now also gone, who simply could not understand why God would take her child before her.
And I am sad for me also, despite all the memories I am grateful for that do, sometimes, give some comfort. I always thought - and my sister and I sometimes talked about this - that we would some day get past whatever it was that had slowly put so much distance between us, and that we would someday again enjoy the closeness of our childhood and youth, which now can never happen. I have so much regret for the time I could have spent with her and didn't, even though I know regret does not help anything.
A good friend of mine also lost a sibling the same year, one who had not even spoken him to for years, but who he expected would "come around" and re-connect some day.
Sometimes people around us seem surprised if we mention or admit to great sadness for our siblings whose lives ended so suddenly less than one year ago. Some people seem to think that if you weren't very close to a sibling when they passed away, then their death should somehow be easier to accept, or that you must miss them a lot less than if you had remained very close, and this sometimes makes it harder to share your feelings. So I guess that is why I am trying an online message board.
Thank you, and my condolences to all whose worlds have been forever changed by their loss of their sibling.
I am sad beyond telling that she has been deprived of the rest of her life, a life she lived well and much loved.
I am sad for her husband and young son, who struggle every day to cope with life so changed by her absence.
I am sad for her father, whose loss I can't even begin to imagine, and for my two brothers, in their loss of the "little sister" they both so loved and admired.
I am sad for our mom, now also gone, who simply could not understand why God would take her child before her.
And I am sad for me also, despite all the memories I am grateful for that do, sometimes, give some comfort. I always thought - and my sister and I sometimes talked about this - that we would some day get past whatever it was that had slowly put so much distance between us, and that we would someday again enjoy the closeness of our childhood and youth, which now can never happen. I have so much regret for the time I could have spent with her and didn't, even though I know regret does not help anything.
A good friend of mine also lost a sibling the same year, one who had not even spoken him to for years, but who he expected would "come around" and re-connect some day.
Sometimes people around us seem surprised if we mention or admit to great sadness for our siblings whose lives ended so suddenly less than one year ago. Some people seem to think that if you weren't very close to a sibling when they passed away, then their death should somehow be easier to accept, or that you must miss them a lot less than if you had remained very close, and this sometimes makes it harder to share your feelings. So I guess that is why I am trying an online message board.
Thank you, and my condolences to all whose worlds have been forever changed by their loss of their sibling.