Post by Eli on Aug 22, 2016 3:24:02 GMT
Within 9 months I lost 3 people in my life. A friend of mine was murdered August of 2015, my Nanny (grandma) passed away December of 2015, and my brother was killed February of 2016. My friend was a work friend that I talked to on almost a daily basis at work, we had several inside jokes together and were very close, it was such a shock to loose him and I never really truly healed from it. In November of 2015 my Nanny fell ill, she was in the hospital and ICU for a few weeks when she seemed to take a turn for the better and we were expecting her to be released from the hospital any day. Then tragically she took a dramatic turn for the worse. This woman was my rock and was there for me for so much. She was always so supportive of me and always had the best advice. She taught me so much and I prayed so hard that she would pull through. Sadly she did not, I was standing outside her hospital room when she took her last breath and heard my mom cry out. It's a sound that will forever be in my memory. Again before I ever cope with the lose of her, my brother was killed at his job in February of 2016. This man was the backbone of our whole family and kept us all together and close. Without him here now it feels like we're all falling a part. I feel like I am drowning in everything going on and I can't even talk to the main people who would typically guide me through something like this. My brother meant the world to my family and so much has changed since he's been gone. He was our fixer and mender between us 4 sisters and now there's no one there for that. I don't know how to fix and mend what is broken like he would. I don't know how to heal myself much less anyone else. I just dont know what to do any more