Post by Larz on Oct 30, 2016 20:26:14 GMT
My twin brother died on December 10th, 2005.
We were 12 years old and walking home from school.
We stopped at the gas station near the school to buy snacks with our allowance. He bought a bag of gummy bears and I got a bag of chips. We sat outside the gas station on the grassy hill that was behind the station and talked. We took turns stealing from each other's bag of food and we were laughing.
When we started walking home again, we were walking through a neighborhood as a short cut to get to our street.
We were almost home when a car pulled up and began shooting. I remember seeing the gun and thinking, there is no way this is real. I threw myself on the sidewalk and when I turned to look at Lukas, I saw that he was bleeding.
I started screaming and then it gets blurry. I remember holding his hand and begging him to not leave me. I was holding his hand and talking to him when he passed.
The police had to pull me away from him because I didn't want to let go. I didn't want him to be gone.
For my entire life I had been 'Lukas' twin'. I was quiet and shy. He was dynamic. He could make friends anywhere he went and he was already shaping up to be an amazing public speaker and an amazing writer. But then he was gone and I was alone.
It still feels like a hole in my chest. Like there is something missing, but I know I can never find it.
I have PTSD. I have depression. I have anxiety. I've tried to kill myself. I've been in and out of hospitals my entire life. But i'm finally starting to feel like my life is worth something.
Lukas is still a part of me, no matter what.
I want to live for him.
We were 12 years old and walking home from school.
We stopped at the gas station near the school to buy snacks with our allowance. He bought a bag of gummy bears and I got a bag of chips. We sat outside the gas station on the grassy hill that was behind the station and talked. We took turns stealing from each other's bag of food and we were laughing.
When we started walking home again, we were walking through a neighborhood as a short cut to get to our street.
We were almost home when a car pulled up and began shooting. I remember seeing the gun and thinking, there is no way this is real. I threw myself on the sidewalk and when I turned to look at Lukas, I saw that he was bleeding.
I started screaming and then it gets blurry. I remember holding his hand and begging him to not leave me. I was holding his hand and talking to him when he passed.
The police had to pull me away from him because I didn't want to let go. I didn't want him to be gone.
For my entire life I had been 'Lukas' twin'. I was quiet and shy. He was dynamic. He could make friends anywhere he went and he was already shaping up to be an amazing public speaker and an amazing writer. But then he was gone and I was alone.
It still feels like a hole in my chest. Like there is something missing, but I know I can never find it.
I have PTSD. I have depression. I have anxiety. I've tried to kill myself. I've been in and out of hospitals my entire life. But i'm finally starting to feel like my life is worth something.
Lukas is still a part of me, no matter what.
I want to live for him.